LUCKY EDDI
It comes on a nice warm morning in Earth Season, and
I am
standing outside the Temple of the Air Gods, thinking
of not much
except how to raise some scratch to bet on the next
Trollball
game. The reason I am standing there is because this
is a place
that many adventurers are bound to stop at on their
way to the
Rubble, and if they are lucky, on their way back also,
and on
such occasions I may be able to make a touch. If they
are going
in, I offer to pray for them for a few clacks, and
while everyone
in this man's town knows that a prayer from me is
about as
much use as a Mostali crossbow 1, there are always new
adventurers, and every now and then one throws me a
few clacks
for luck, to pray to Orlanth Adventurous, or maybe
Humakt or
Storm Bull. Of course, I do not actually go and pray
for them,
because I know nobody is going to check up. For either
they do
not come back, or if they do they make a nice score
and cannot be
bothered over a few clacks, or they have other things
to worry
about, such as broken arms.
I look out for those who come back also, and try to
figure out
who makes a nice score, for such persons are often
soft touches,
and I hope to get to them before they feel the bite
too often and
become disillusioned with the whole experience. And I
wish to say
that I do not do too badly, at that, for I always ask
them for
their story first, and as everyone knows adventurers
dearly love
to tell their story - in fact, the chances are that
the only time
they are not telling their story is when they are
doing more
adventuring. At the least they may stake me to a
drink, and while
I am by no means a guy who has to have his drink, I
will not say
no if a drink comes along, and someone else is paying.
I must hear ten thousand stories in my time, and I
sometimes
figure I will open an advice bureau for adventurers
and make a
mint, but then I remember that they are likely to come
asking
when I am trying to catch up on my sleep, and so I
drop the idea.
Many of the stories are interesting, and even
instructive, and
sometimes there is a good laugh in them, such as when
a guy
fumbles so much he takes off his own leg instead of a
Troll's, but of course I do not laugh unless the
story-teller
thinks it funny also.
As I am standing there, who do I see but Lucky Eddi.
I know
Eddi from around and about Pavis for many years, in
fact, I know
him from before he gets called Lucky. The reason he
has this name
is because he makes his living guiding adventurers in
the Rubble,
and it is really remarkable how he always comes back
with a whole
skin, particularly since at first he is the only one
who does
come, back. But this begins to cause gossip which
hurts
Eddi's business, so parties start coming back
sometimes, and
they may even have something to show for the trip
besides cuts
and bruises, though in such cases nobody is able to
find out what
happens to them afterwards, as they seem to disappear.
But
adventurers are always coming and going in Pavis, so
few people
give this much thought.
Anyhow, Eddi goes along with his business, and it is
rumoured
he does fairly well at it, for adventurers are a clack
a dozen in
Pavis, and Eddi is very good at picking parties who
will make it
worth his while, and will trust him, and at avoiding
parties who
look to be too tough or too smart. He has plenty of
sense and
keeps moving around, so nobody will know where to find
him and
his dough, especially his dough, though some persons
try. But
unpleasant things seem to happen to such persons, and
it is
generally believed that Eddi has very good connections
on both
sides of the Walls. He certainly keeps in with the
hard guys on
this side. While it is nothing that Big Nygg nods to
him, because
he will nod to anyone when he is feeling good, I once
see
Wolfhead do so, and anyone will tell you this is
practically
phenomenal. For Wolfhead is such a guy as never seems
to be
feeling good, but is extra-mean, and he generally
looks right
through you, and will tread on your toes if you do not
get out of
his way.
I do not see Eddi for quite some time before this
morning, in
fact I hear that he finally decides to retire, but it
seems he is
still in the same old business, for he has a doll with
him who
has adventurer written all over her. Now, personally,
I strongly
disapprove of dolls being adventurers, because no doll
adventurer
stakes me to anything in all the years I am in Pavis.
But I am
very careful never to voice such sentiments, for the
chances are
any doll adventurer will knock you bow-legged if you
say such
things, and I hear some will do so if they suspect you
are even
thinking them. So I step up and smile very politely at
her. When
I get a good look at her, I wonder how she figures to
be an
adventurer, unless she is going to charm anything she
meets to
death, for while she looks as pretty a doll as ever I
see, she
stands about as high as a stunted Trollkin and does
not look as
if she can deliver a punch that will go through paper.
She packs
a cute little sword, and carries a very new-looking
spear, and a
shield that does not have one dent in it, and I judge
that she
has a fair bit of dough behind her, for all her armour
is shiny
new ringmail. The only funny thing is, she wears a
traveller's hat with such a broad brim that you cannot
see
her eyes properly. But she smiles back at me very
pleasant, and
so does Eddi when I ask him how he is doing.
"I cannot complain," he says. "In fact, I am
really retired, but I come out of retirement to do
this one
job."
"I hear of Master Eddi as one of the most experienced
guides to the Rubble of all time," says the doll, "and
I have to have a good guide, to find my ancestor's
treasure."
I can see that she is a gabby doll, and will tell me
the whole
proposition in a moment, but Eddi shushes her and says
you never
know who may be listening. And indeed, who comes
around the
corner just then but Wolfhead, but he walks through us
all as he
loves to do, paying nobody any mind, and goes on his
way. The
doll looks after him and asks who he is.
"That is one of the worst guys in this whole town,"
says Eddi. "But do not worry, miss, because you are
safe
with me; he will not bother us."
Of course, this is nothing but a falsehood, as the
way I hear
it, Wolfhead will bother anybody if he sees a way to
make a
profit by it, up to a Zorak Zoran Death Lord. But the
doll seems
to believe Eddi, and smiles up at him, and he smiles
back in such
a way that I commence to wonder if he does not finally
fall for a
doll after all these years. Then she says she must go
and do some
praying to Orlanth Adventurous, and I take the chance
to ask Eddi
about the proposition.
"It is really remarkable," says Eddi. "I do not
have to do a thing. She seeks me out and is wild to
have me,
because of my great reputation."
"What is this treasure?" I ask.
"She has a chart," says Eddi, "and it is not
one of Treasure Trove Hurbi's, either. It seems her
ancestor
caches some stuff long ago. I may even look into it if
I get a
chance."
"Then you do not figure on going for it?" I say.
Eddi laughes and shakes his head. "Do you think I am
getting dumb? No, she tells me all about her family,
and I figure
they will pay a nice ransom to get her back in one
piece. It is a
pity, because she is really very cute, but business is
business.
My partners and I can always use a little more."
Well, this is really quite indiscreet of Eddi, to be
letting
out details of his business to me in the street, and I
figure
this doll must have him a little dizzy, after all, but
just then
she comes back, and off they go towards the Rubble,
and I think
no more about it.
A whole lot of time goes by and I do not make a
touch, even
when I move near the People's Gate, which is the main
way
into the Rubble for adventurers, and finally I am
figuring on
giving up for the day and trying the grog-shops, when
I see two
persons coming through the gate from the Rubble, and I
recognise
one of these as the doll from her hat, which makes her
look like
a walking mushroom. Now this is strange, to be sure,
but not half
so strange as who is with her, for it is by no means
Eddi, but
Wolfhead. I am so surprised that I step right up to
them and say,
"Where is Eddi?"
Then the doll takes off her hat and looks me slap in
the eye,
and I see that she has a pair of very blue eyes, but
the
expression in them makes me go cold all over. "Eddi
will not
be back," she says. "We make quite sure of that, after
we find out where he keeps his dough."
"You mean you leave him helpless in the Rubble, when
all
you want is his dough?" I say, somewhat horrified. "At
least you can bring him back alive. What does he ever
do to
you?"
"He takes my brother Rory into the Rubble and does
not
bring him back," the doll says. "My brother Rory is an
honest sap, and will trust anybody, but I love him
just the same.
Of course, I cannot do it without Wolfie here." And
she
smiles up at Wolfhead, though I will just as soon have
a snake
smile at me, personally.
Wolfhead says, "It turns out that Griselda is my
long-lost cousin, and so is her brother, though of
course I do
not know it then, or I will make Eddi hard to catch. I
never have
a cousin before, that I know of, but kinsfolk must
stick
together, no matter what."
It seems he gets a great bang out of having a cousin,
for I
never see him like this before.
"So Eddi's luck finally runs out," I say.
"No," says Wolfhead. "He gets lucky again at
the end there. I do him a favour and finish him off.
Perhaps I am
getting soft-hearted."
Then he and the doll laugh very heartily and go off
arm in
arm. Wolfhead is carrying what looks like a pretty
heavy sack,
but I know there will be no sense in trying to touch
him, for he
is a very hard-hearted guy indeed, whatever he says.
1. A Mostali crossbow will self-destruct
in the hands of a
non-Mostali.
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